People who grew up receiving less to negligible love tend to show a very optimistically clingy relationship style. They tend to trust people easily and become dependent at the same time without realizing it.
The slightest sign of love brings them the joy and faith they have been longing for, and without knowing, they end up suffocating the relationship. They fail to allow themselves enough time to understand the relationship’s depth, let alone the person involved.
Meanwhile, these people are amongst the most beautiful personalities.
They love wholeheartedly and wear kindness on their sleeves. They try to bring joy and hope wherever they go. Their vibes, however, can sometimes be very bold — whether good or bad, and they can wear their emotions like a crown.
Thus, as much as bonds take time to build, it takes a few seconds to a minute to break.
Then, how can we improve on this aspect of treating ourselves as a separate entity while being in a healthy relationship? The struggles with establishing as well as maintaining a healthy, thriving relationship are within everyone. No one is born a superhero in this regard as well as our personalities are dynamic. Understanding each other’s emotions entangled in a scenario is tricky.
One of the lessons I learned over time is that any relationship in the universe is never static. We have to be ready to let go if and when circumstances arise. People will come and go in our life, some may stay, and some will leave for several reasons — with or without explanations.
I have a hard time maintaining healthy long-term relationships. I wore my temper on my sleeves until I realized what triggered me to become so volatile and how I can become more personable and adjusting to others.
Lately, as I am on my voyage to implement emotional intelligence and compassion to understand myself and my relationships, I have realized the basis of compartmentalization.
We may come across the term compartmentalization when dealing with multi-tasking situations or tricky relations, such as our best friend being our boss at work. However, I used the theory to categorizing all the human beings with whom I have a real connection.
What happens next?
Indeed, we can train our minds to believe and think in whichever way we desire.
Categorizing relationships and ranking them based on importance can help us relieve some of the uncanny discomforts/pressure that may arise.
For instance, I am single, living in a big city where I spend at least 12 hours of my day at work. The people I see and share my time with are my co-workers. Having intimate relationships of any kind with co-workers is a dangerous game. Therefore, what to do when we are in such a scenario?
Try to make friends outside of work.
But, do rank the friends and co-workers appropriately.
Your outside friends, one of whom is your best friend/lover, have to be number one in the rank. Categorize him/her/them as the ones whose emotions, desires, and acquisitions are invariably essential and will be taken into consideration seriously. These are the people for whom you are ready to spend your precious time feeling hurt, love, disturbed, and appreciated.
By doing so, we are simplifying our actions and distractions in our daily life.
Our emotions and moods are our responsibility and dictate the majority of how the day will go.
As soon as we categorize the co-workers into the rank where their insecurities, love, and competitiveness will never be taken with much importance, dealing with challenging situations at work will improve. Automatically, one will find oneself to be very smooth, focused, and professional at work.
The instance I shared applies to any relationship. Amongst friends, we will have best friends and then play friends. Ranking them in our minds will help us not take things personally, wherever appropriate.
I am a sensitive person, I love wholeheartedly, so I also get emotionally devasted when things fail to maintain the love.
For me ranking my relationships has been working very well. It has minimized my expectations from certain people, my dependency on some, my close relationship with my person, and I manage to think before I react to whom-so-ever concerned.
We may have our strategies to assist ourselves; however, maintaining a good relationship is very important for mental health and life progress.